Friday, August 20, 2004 @ Friday, August 20, 2004
Under Stressed
Common Test... It's the time of the year where I'll be mugging all the shits into my small head. *sighs* It's only a few days away from my OOP paper and I haven't start on a single shit. *gasps*
I think it's due to the stress I've been facing for the past few days. At home. I'm so worried about my mom and dad. *sighs* Don't know what's going on with them. They're like depending on me nowadays since I'm the only daughter and the only child. Damn.
I'm turning 19 soon. Am taking a step at a time. I'm growing up mom! The teenager fever is going on and she's supposed to understand rather being freaked about it. It's like anything I do, she seems not satisfied with it. What do I have to do to make her happy for once?! I just don't get her sometimes. *smacks head*
How I wish I have an elder bro or sis. Got some company at home. Can depend on them in a way. Your folks won't really depend on you all the time. Your folks won't have high hopes on you and won't ask you to do everything all the time. *sighs*
Am trying my best to lead my life as usual. Not to think too much about my miserable life at home. Trying to concentrate on my studies. *sighs* Well, at least am being my happy and crappy self right? Hope that's a good thing.
PS: Thank you Fai. *grins*
Monday, August 16, 2004 @ Monday, August 16, 2004
+It hurts+
Sick. Tired. Torn. Worried.
New events happened in my life lately. Especially at home. God help me. My folks are unhappy with me in a way and right now, they're not talking to me.
GREAT. Am just being a normal teenager and they find it a HUGE problem. Well, sad to say, the consequences is bad. *sighs*
But instead of worrying about my life, I'm much much worried about someone. This friend of mine. I didn't know the things that's been going on my friend's life until I heard for it myself recently. I don't really know what happened but what I know that my friend has been suffering alone.
All this time, my friend was acting. Being happy and all, try to act as if nothing happened but when my friend's at home, my friend's very stressed up and all. It's just painful to hear what my friend's going through.
The thing that hurts me the most is that my friend didn't tell me. Just because something happened in the past, that doesn't mean my friend didn't have to tell me about it. Suddenly my friend treats me like a stranger and shut me out from his or her life. It hurts cos' I really care about this friend of mine.
I know I will never help solve his or her problem but at least am trying to help my friend to feel at ease.
PS: Just to let you know, You don't have to feel awkward around me. Be yourself. I'm here if you need someone to talk to and am all ears if you need me to listen to your rants. *hugs*
